Growing up catholic gives you a different mindset. I grew up thinking you have to be good and be as perfect as possible and good things will follow. Believe me, my life has been OK but I’ve been through crappy stuff. Some crappy stuff which involve some things which I won’t say yet. Maybe next time.

I did everything the “right” way. Nice to people. Not drinking. No sex. You know, all the usually stuff teenagers are supposed to do before they grow up. Who cares.

Yeah, so I grew up trying to be “perfect”. What a fricking great idea. Didn’t work out so well. So now I have to “God” complex where I have to be perfect. I’m trapped in a bubble in which I can’t break out of and I hate it!

Sometimes I fear my other personality is going to break out and just go crazy and I’ll be at crazy parties doing cocaine and getting high. Yeah, it feels like I’m holding a lot of stuff back.

Living in sin seems a lot more fun than living good. It is what it is I guess.

It’s 1:00am. Insomnia.


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