That has to be a bad feeling.
Ever felt you were somewhere you didn’t belong? Always thought you were destined for something else?
Ever felt isolated in a crowded room? Among people you actually know?
It’s not really about being the centre of attention but someone paying attention.
I think I grew up in the wrong place. Maybe it’s because I was influenced by the things I read. The things I watched. I dreamt of big things. A bigger future. A better society.
Nothing has changed. You get spoiled by the other worlds when you board a plane to another destination. The other world may not necessarily be the best. But it’s the little things that count. The small things.
Small things eventually become big problems. It makes me mad that nobody sees that. You would think someone would address it before it becomes high priority. It’s like a tiny crack in an aquarium. Eventually that crack will become beginner. Once it gets worse, water floods out and the fish day. A tiny crack moved from being low risk to high priority.
Speaking in metaphors….
Sometimes I wonder whether I choose not to like people. I pre-judge them before I fully explore their personality. But after you’ve met so many people and keep seeing the same thing over and over, you automatically pre-judge.
Things can be changed. But people are fucking locked into the same type of thinking, they stagnant their own growth. Everybody is taught to color within the lines. Nobody thinks outside the box. Everybody likes their comfort zone.
I dream of a different future. Nobody around me shares that vision. I can’t find anyone. I’ve found a few. That’s something to look up to. Why can’t there be more?
Isolation. It’s quiet. No noise. No distractions.
Things have to change. But I don’t trust they will. I have no faith. I’m an optimist. But I don’t believe in people as I used to.
What am I doing…