It’s a different definition of the word.
It’s about highs and lows. It starts on the top of a rollercoaster ride and then you come crashing down.
Sometimes it can’t be helped. I don’t know what I’m looking for. Some may say I should be grateful for what I have now. I am.
But I’m been selfless my whole life. Sometimes it should be about me.
That’s the inner battle.
I think I need to go and sit back on a couch and tell my stories to a stranger again. I think it helped. Process is a bit out of my comfort zone but sometimes going out of your comfort zone allows you to explore different things.
I wonder if there really is a great reward for me. I have doubts sometimes. Maybe it’s makes me human.
But sometimes I don’t feel human. I feel alien.
Maybe I’m too far out of my comfort zone and don’t feel safe anymore.
Hopefully this passes over.