Relapse

It’s a different definition of the word.

It’s about highs and lows. It starts on the top of a rollercoaster ride and then you come crashing down.

Sometimes it can’t be helped. I don’t know what I’m looking for. Some may say I should be grateful for what I have now. I am.

But I’m been selfless my whole life. Sometimes it should be about me.

That’s the inner battle.

I think I need to go and sit back on a couch and tell my stories to a stranger again. I think it helped. Process is a bit out of my comfort zone but sometimes going out of your comfort zone allows you to explore different things.

I wonder if there really is a great reward for me. I have doubts sometimes. Maybe it’s makes me human.

But sometimes I don’t feel human. I feel alien.

Maybe I’m too far out of my comfort zone and don’t feel safe anymore.

Makes sense.

Hopefully this passes over.

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