Untitled #3

I ran my fingers through her hair
Listening to her steady breathing as she rests my head on her chest
I wonder if she dreams of a life without me
Wondering if she realizes that my emotions take time to manifest
Will she stay or jump ship like a sailor on a sinking ship
A ship damaged from sailing to close to the rocks
Scrapping the sides and losing some of it’s precious cargo
I have nightmares of her wondering off into the night
Finding comfort in the bosom of her one true love
So I intend to grip her close because I’m selfish
Keeping her prisoner
Knowing that I can’t give her half of my heart
I run my fingers through her hair
Hoping the scent never leaves my hand
Because eventually, I know she will leave me

You Lost Me

Stereotypes and first impressions
Judging me off these can lead to bad receptions
Sleep is the last thing on my mind
Cuddling with insomnia like it’s my only lover
Reminiscing about my past
Thinking along the way how I lost lovers
When she kissed me, did she taste my dreams
and swallow sadness?
Wondering how people could love someone at the edge of madness
Falling in love should be a crime
And I’m scared to do the time
A broken heart is a hefty price
So I rather avoid the fine
Days I go cold hearted
Days I’m overwhelmed with emotions
Mood swings come with personality disorders
Holding myself back just to fit in with my peers
I whisper my accomplishments but scream about my fears
Sick of being misunderstood
Misplacing my emotions
Deserving of more but I keep asking for less
How do stand tall but keep selling myself short
Absorbing all the stress
Friends never seem to show up when you need them
But they come looking for handouts when it’s convenient
That’s why my circle is tighter than clenched fists
Wondering if the girl I’m fascinated with even knows I exist
Who knew back in the day I could even write my this
Bleeding ink on paper
Exposing my demons with syllables and words
They lost me at 16, never had closure
Me, Myself and I carrying big dreams on my shoulder
Almost lost me at 24 but I made peace with my demons
I’m flying low on your radar
Flying through storm clouds and strong winds
It’s such a shame
It looks like you’re losing me again

Refrain From Love

Love is a cruel joke
A comedian setting up punchlines
For damaging deliveries
Smothering you with feelings of hope
That distort logic
Like a virus in a computer
causing internal damage
Leaving destruction in its wake
Love takes away the ground you stood on
Allowing you to fall to rock bottom
Weightless, as gravity pulls you down to earth
Such trickery
It’s all smoke and mirrors
The illusionist whispering sweet nothings
Taking advantage of hearts
Leading to false paradise and euphoria
Only to show cruel realities when heartbreak occurs
Don’t fall in love
Run away from lover’s paradise
On the other side waits heartaches and depression
Pain and desolation
Don’t fall for the trickery and illusions
Keep love away from your fragile state
Keep love away from the uninitiated
Keep love away from the naïve
Refrain from the allure
Refrain from love