They call it a house of worship. A place where you can find solace with the Creator. And here I stand on the stairs of the Lord’s temple, smoking a cigarette, feeling like the scum of the earth.
I recall memories from my childhood when I was in school. High school was such a cruel environment. There were some painful memories. It was really a dog eat dog world. I was a very naive child. Always trying to make everybody happy. The only person I couldn’t make happy was myself. But nobody cared. Once people get what they want from you, they stop caring and act like you don’t exist.
I finally had an epiphany. I finally realized that deep down, people are inherently selfish. They don’t realize it unless you point it out to them. Everyone thinks they’re good at heart. They think that they’re good people. It’s amazing how people believe their own bullshit. I believe the quote goes like this: “The road to hell is paved with good intentions”. In that case, we’re all fucked. Aren’t we?
The apartment looked really clean. He patted himself on the back for doing a great job of cleaning up the apartment by himself. The couch which had been in the living room had been moved outside. All his clothes were packed in the suitcase. His books and other items were in boxes, ready to be moved out. The carpet was surprisingly clean. It was probably because no one was hardly in the living room area.
Everything was great except for the weather. The sun wasn’t playing fair. It was disgustingly humid. You couldn’t walk outside for two minutes without your body breaking out in a sweat. It was summertime. There were times he wished he lived somewhere where the weather was a little more forgiving. Sometimes he contemplated moving to a cooler climate. For now, he only needed to worry about moving to another apartment instead of a whole different continent.
He had asked his (ex) girlfriend if she could help him move his stuff to the new apartment. He hated calling her his “ex-girlfriend”. It wasn’t too long ago since they had ended their relationship. An “ex” also seemed to be a negative thing. But he and his now ex-girlfriend seemed more like good friends. After all, their break up had been mutual.